Relationships are essential. As we walk through this convoluted world, we are constantly working and building relationships with others. We check the way we walk, the way we talk, the way we listen, and the way we respond. Depending on our responses, the outcome can be filled with utter bliss and happiness, or chaos and pain. It takes years of mastering the art of communication to build solid relationships with our spouses, our children, people we work with, and our church family.
It is to the very end of our lives that we strive to learn better methods of communication and relationship building. It is the essence of the human existence to have relationships with others. There are thousands of books on the subject of building better relationships in all aspects of our lives. Unfortunately, one of the most important relationships we overlook to work on is the relationship with ourselves. It may sound a little self-centered when you first read it, but is it really?
For many of us, we are so focused on others while we lose the very essence of who we are. We lose our true identity, the very core of who God made us to be. We become people pleasers instead of people builders. We start internalizing our emotions and taking things more personally, with a critical view of ourselves. We eventually end up in a place of frustration, asking this question, “Who am I and why am I here?” Believe me when I say it is a very lonely and scary place to be.
Now some may call it middle-aged, but I have counseled with many people that are well before their middle-age years, so I am convinced it is not that. The session usually goes a little something like this. We meet and they say, “I’m really not sure what is going on, but I just seem to be going through the motions. I get up every morning and just go about my day. I just don’t seem satisfied anymore. I’ve lost myself, my dreams, my purpose, and I’m just tired.” One of the very first questions I ask is, “Who are you?” Now they usually come back with, “I’m a butcher, a baker or candlestick maker.” You get the picture. They share their profession as a description of who they are, instead of who they really are.
Who they really are, if they call on the name of Christ, are God’s Children, heirs of God and more than conquerors.
Galatians 4:5 says, "God sent Him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that He could adopt us as His own children." (NLT)
Romans 8:14-17 says, "For ALL who are led by the spirit of God are children of God. So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s spirit when He adopted you as His own children. Now we call Him Abba Father. For His spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory." (NLT)
Romans 8:37 tells us, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." (NIV)
Spending time with our Heavenly Father reveals to us, in a spiritual way, the pure joy of being His child. Our self-worth is wrapped in the loving arms of Jesus. When we look at our own children, we see beautiful children with hope, promise and purpose. It is the same way in which our Heavenly Father looks at us. Whether we are only 2 or 102, we are still His children. He looks at us in the same way and wants nothing but the best for us. I have children in their 20’s and 30’s, and when they get down or depressed, I have to reassure them of the love they have in Jesus. I have to remind them that they are heirs to God’s glory, that God loves them and put a spirit in them that can conquer anything this dark and dreary world throws at them.
The majority correlates low self-esteem mostly with teens and pre-teens. While that may be true, a startling statistic by Dr. Joe Rubino, in his book titled The Self Esteem Book, states that 85% of the world’s population are affected by low self-esteem. 85%! Low self-esteem is an epidemic in our country, in our schools, in our churches, in our communities, and in our homes. It is an identity crisis with folks not knowing who they really are.
The answer is Christ!
Yes, there are exercises you can do, counseling sessions that may be needed, coaching that can be crucial for change, but the first step is finding your identity in Christ Jesus! Knowing you are more than a conqueror, one of God’s prized possessions and filled with a spirit of love, joy, peace, and strength is something you can wear on your heart. It is literally the foundation of everything worthwhile and the basis you can build a life on. A new life, an old life and everything in between. Loving and building a healthy relationship with yourself is key to making other relationships matter in your life.
May the Lord bless you in every way and build in you a confidence that is unwavering.
Thank you for joining me today on Life Is Relationships. I welcome your partnership. I work with people suffering from identity crisis, fighting the satanic grips of addiction and helping people find the “courage to change the things they can.” I host workshops for teens called, “Prepare 4 Impact” helping them be prepared for life with character development, communication skills, goal setting, and the basics of finance. I am an anti-bully advocate and speak corporately and scholastically on the power of identity, unity and togetherness. If you would like more information on how I could be of service to you, please email me at: johnny.lujan@ptlb.com.
You Are Never Alone,
Pastor Johnny Lujan
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Pastor Johnny Lujan is PTLB's newest team member and we couldn't be more excited to have him aboard. Johnny’s favorite word in the dictionary is “action.” He has built and led ministries since 2002, and for the past 17 years, has been a motivator of people, churches, businesses, and organizations. His leadership skills are extensive, having led ministries, sales teams, and regions to dynamic growth through team-building strategies, strategic relationship principles, and character-building workshops. Johnny uses his primary gifts of evangelism, leadership, and service to encourage organizations and individuals to develop a new story.
He is the Lead Pastor at Thunder Road Biker Church in Rancho Cordova, CA, and Roseville, CA, and helped launch Brisbane, Australia in 2015. Thunder Road Church is a strategic church reaching a demographic of people that some call the “least of these.” He is also the co-founder of “Unchained Men,” bringing authenticity, vulnerability, and truth through training and workshops to encourage men to break free! For more about Johnny and his services or to support Johnny's ministry, click HERE.