"Therefore, I have come out to meet you, to seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you"
What is interesting about this proverb is that it details what the adulteress says that convinces the young man to give into temptation and cross the line.
Solomon is incredibly observant and gives critical insight into the ploys of the adulteress and the psyche of men.
She tells him what he is hoping to hear: "You are wanted!!!" Men are sexual creatures, but they are also wanting desperately to be wanted and to be desired. This is how they hope that their wives will be with them – that their wives will see them as an object of desire.
Notice that this woman does two things that are not the normal response of wives. She comes out to meet him; she is the aggressor; and she tells him that he is an object of desire. These are two almost irresistible aphrodisiacs. This is the classic case of a man wanting what he feels for a woman to be felt toward himself. Since a woman is a unique creation, she will not normally feel this. As a man, his number one need in a marriage relationship is physical intimacy. He needs physical intimacy. There are four aspects of this need that happen inside of a man in association with this need. He needs it; he wants her to want it; he wants her to want him; he wants her to enjoy it. The woman who speaks, as Solomon details here, communicates: I will meet your need; I want you; I want it; and I know how to enjoy this. That is why this type of temptation is so hard to resist.
Note to wives: This is what your husband needs from you on occasion – to be the initiator of physical intimacy and to communicate that he is desirable. The more that he receives these needs from you, the more drawn to you he will be and the more filled up he will be.
Note to married men: If any woman does these two things – seeks you out sexually and/or tells you that you are an object of sexual desire – run in the opposite direction. Cut off all connection to that woman quickly. This is temptation talking and you will not be able to resist.
Note to single men: If a woman does these two things – is the aggressor sexually and communicates that you are an object of sexual desire for her – have someone you trust help you evaluate whether she is really the right woman for you because you will lose objectivity. These two signals are such a strong temptation that this woman will often move to the head of the class for marriage when she may not be the right person at all. If she has done this with others, then she is not the right person. It is a ploy.
Until tomorrow,
Gil Stieglitz